A question that has been posed by many people during our Art of Disagreement and Art of Feedback workshops this year...
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE RESPONSIBLE ADULT?!
My guess is you might be feeling a bit like this guy above - am I right? Most of us have thought about it at some time or another, but what does it tell us about our teams and what can we do about it?
What lies beneath the complaint of the responsible adult?
Do the following sound familiar? If you've ever found yourself pondering these questions, you might be one of the 'responsible adults' in your team:
Why do I have to be the one to initiate difficult conversations?
Why do I always have to be the one to keep my cool?
Why am I expected to see things from everyone's perspective?
Why can't others take the lead in resolving conflicts?
Why do I feel like I'm always the one compromising?
These questions often come from team members who are willing to endure the discomfort of challenging conversations for the greater good. They're typically self-aware, able to regulate their emotions, and skilled at navigating complex interpersonal dynamics.
While it's valuable to have such individuals on a team, relying too heavily on them can lead to burnout and resentment.
How do I encourage shared responsibility?
If you can identify an uneven number of “responsible adults" in your team, there are a few questions you may want to explore.
Does your team know that this is expected of them regarding team communication? Not in a “yes it is somewhere in their position description” but it is regularly talked about, role modelled and there is a clear escalation process if conversations are not productive?
Has your team actually sat down (recently) and talked about how they approach difficult conversations before they actually need to? Creating an agreed process around how to initiate and conduct a difficult conversation before it is needed creates transparency and confidence, which leads to people being more likely to have the conversation.
Do team members understand their unique strengths and weaknesses in these situations? Self-awareness of both assets and limitations is crucial in effectively managing challenging interactions and identifying areas for personal growth.
We hope this helps you and your team to deliver feedback with a bit more ease, but do remember, the Art of Feedback is a skill that needs practice. Check out our blog here for why practising a skill like this is so important to be done in simulation first.
Serious Woo is here to support you and your team, click here to book a chat.
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